Thunder Thighs: The Pie Reckoning

When I was a kid we had this apple tree in our backyard. Every year my mother, sister and I would make pie after pie after pie. For about 2 weeks straight in the end of August, weeknights and weekends, we would make pie. One year we made 24. Needless to say, I don't ever make that many pies anymore. Having that many pies around might unleash Thunder Thighs: The Pie Reckoning .

But I do still enjoy making pie. Specifically apple. So when we were invited to dinner at the BF's Aunt's and the option of picking their huge garden grown apples was offered I jumped at the chance. And by that I mean I made the BF go pick some. 

The recipe I used is a simple recipe that my mom drilled into me as a child. 


5 cups flour

2 tsp salt

1 lb shortening 

(I used butter.... and crisco.... cause that's what was in my apartment) 

1 egg

2 TBSP white vinegar

Cold Water


  1. Measure out flour and salt into a large bowl. Mix. 
  2. Cut in shortening until pea sized.
  3. Crack egg into a 1 cup liquid measure. Beat egg.  
  4. Add vinegar to beaten egg.
  5. Add cold water to egg and vinegar mixture until 1 cup measure.  Mix.
  6. Pour liquid mixture into flour mixture. Mix till a dough forms. (Add extra flour if dough is to sticky to handle)

Make enough for 3 pies (top and bottom).

Freezes well! 

Pie Filling

7-8 cups peeled, cored and sliced apples

1 cup granulated sugar

2 TBSP flour

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt


Mix everything together! Let sit while you roll out the pie dough. Stir once more before filling pie.  

Bake at 400 for 1 hour or until filling is bubbling and pastry is golden brown.  

Future Apple Babies

Future Apple Babies

Not even needing to look up the recipe gives me a feeling of mild pride, mixed with a sense of lost potential as a human recipe book. Anyway.

I managed to get some primo apple seeds out of the hugest apples so hopefully I will have a baby apple tree in the next couple months!  



The Half-Assed Hobbyist